Sunday, January 31, 2010

Tweeter and the Monkey Man

TWEETER AND THE MONKEY MAN©

Tweeter and the Monkey Man were hard up for cash
They stayed up all night selling cocaine and hash
To an undercover cop who had a sister named Jan
For reasons unexplained she loved the Monkey Man

Tweeter was a boy scout before she went to Vietnam
And found out the hard way nobody gives a damn
They knew that they found freedom just across the Jersey Line
So they hopped into a stolen car, took Highway 99

And the walls came down, all the way to hell
Never saw them when they're standing, never saw them when they fell

The undercover cop never liked the Monkey Man
Even back in childhood he wanted to see him in the can
Jan got married at fourteen to a racketeer named Bill
She made secret calls to the Monkey Man from a mansion on the hill

It was out on Thunder Road, Tweeter at the wheel
They crashed into paradise, they could hear them tires squeal
The undercover cop pulled up and said "Everyone of you's a liar
If you don't surrender now, it's gonna go down to the wire

And the walls came down, all the way to hell
Never saw them when they're standing, never saw them when they fell

An ambulance rolled up, a state trooper close behind
Tweeter took his gun away and messed up his mind
The undercover cop was left tied up to a tree
Near the souvenir stand by the old abandoned factory

Next day the undercover cop was hot in pursuit
He was taking the whole thing personal, he didn't care about the loot
Jan had told him many times it was you to me who taught
In Jersey anything's legal as long as you don't get caught

And the walls came down, all the way to hell
Never saw them when they're standing, never saw them when they fell

Someplace by Rahway Prison they ran out of gas
The undercover cop had cornered them said "Boy, you didn't think that this could last"
Jan jumped out of the bed, said "There's someplace I gotta go"
She took a gun out of the drawer and said "It's best if you don't know"

The undercover cop was found face down in a field
The monkey man was on the river bridge using Tweeter as a shield
Jan said to the Monkey Man, "I'm not fooled by Tweeter's curl
I knew him long before he ever became a Jersey girl"

And the walls came down, all the way to hell
Never saw them when they're standing, never saw them when they fell

Now the town of Jersey City is quieting down again
I'm sitting in a gambling club called the Lion's Den
The TV set been blown up, every bit of it is gone
Ever since the nightly news show that the Monkey Man was on

I guess I'll go to Florida and get myself some sun
There ain't no more opportunity here, everything's been done
Sometime I think of Tweeter, sometime I think of Jan
Sometime I don't think about nothing but the Monkey Man

And the walls came down, all the way to hell
Never saw them when they're standing, never saw them when they fell

And the walls came down, all the way to hell
Never saw them when they're standing, never saw them when they fe

Thursday, December 7, 2006

Le Sock Monkey


Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey
John Lennon

Why I am the Tea Monkey....

My affinity for the simian race started young... first Curious George, a desperate but unfulfilled longing for a sock monkey ( I did get one the year I got married when I was 36, go figure, see kiddees wish for something hard enough and you will get it, the sock monkey fairy being 30 years late but hey who am I to quibble).

Planet of the Apes followed, "get your hands off me you stinking ape" classic. Barrel full of Monkeys and soon Monkey Bars.

I bought my first bike for 13 dollars in the 70's... yep you guessed it Monkey wrenches.

Girls... I started early, 3rd grade, felt up May in the school yard, well actually I felt down into her panties. This was witnessed with much disgust I may add by non other than my best friend growing up David Hayter...(If you read this in your busy Hollywood lifestyle, sorry mate but you had this look of ick... ) back on track again, monkeying around.

Music, Rolling Stones... one of my favorite songs, Monkey Man.

Later when I picked up guitar I had a Butterscotch Telecaster that a friend gave me a barrel full of monkeys monkey to adorn the headstock, thus the MonkeyCaster was born.

Much later while working for the evil empire...no not Darth and the boys, the cable company. I found the love of my life again after misplacing her while monkey around at work on the internet...

My Friend Keith is writing a book about the adventures of the band I was in. The working title "Red Hot Monkey Love"

Marry love of life add one beautiful daughter...little monkey.

Fast forward a few years and one night the wife and I fool around while she is in Ovulatrix mode , Too much monkey business ( another fave song by the Beatles ) and le voila daughter number two... cheeky monkey...


Later I was to don the title that I will probably get engraved on my headstone... "Honey can you make me a cup up tea"?....

thus I am the Tea Monkey.